Old Friends

A friend I have known since the 6th grade is having a birthday next week. She's the same age as I am; well, she is six months older which I repeatedly reminded her of today. Anyway, I was thinking about getting older and friends and thought of a friend I haven't talked to in years... actually, over a decade. She was probably the best "real" friend I had in college. I checked MySpace for her nickname and couldn't find it. I checked Classmates and found her. It was eerie because I felt relieved she was there. I mean, she could have some outdated email in there, but I just took comfort in the fact that I "found" her. I went back to MySpace, tried a few variations on her name, and ended up finding her... as I knew deep down that I would.

The thing that made me laugh was that I just read this quote today, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." And I really liked it. Then, when I found my friend's page, that same quote happened to be in her extended network box. Things with us were always weird like that.

Her page is private, and I couldn't really see her in her picture. I want to message her, but I know I won't. I found her a couple years ago and didn't message either. I don't know why. I'm just not in a "friendly" place, I guess. Plus, I sort of disappeared on her years ago and can assume I hurt her pretty badly. I was an asshole. I still think about her, though, and miss her. I hope she is doing well. I hope she is happy and in a good place. And I hope she is not thinking about the birthday we have coming up this year... though, somehow, I think she is.

I miss you, Jen.