Mean Carrie Prejean

My nausea meter is maxing out on the whole Miss California gay marriage thing. I was happy that it finally seemed to be blowing over. Then I read the May 25th issue of Time and saw it mentioned yet again. It was in the “Briefing” section, where a head shot was posted on the predictability meter. Under “Shockingly Predictable” it read: “Miss California passionately defends her right to infringe on others’ rights.” And, I thought, “Really?”

Let’s actually take a look at this claim…

First, since when is it infringing upon a right to state one’s opinion? If I say that hamsters shouldn’t wear pink tutus and eat PopTarts, am I infringing upon hamsters’ rights? Since when has stating an opinion been infringing? I live in a state where the KKK has had their first amendment right protected, via police intervention, so they could spew hatred. So they are allowed to preach white supremecy and be protected, yet a woman can’t say she believes a marriage is between a man and woman in a beauty pageant without infringing on someone’s rights? Really?

Second, since when is stating a commonly accepted belief wrong or an infringement? Isn’t that just normal? If I state that I don’t think we should drive through red lights, am I infringing upon others’ rights to do so? Granted there isn’t a law against gay marriage as there is a traffic law against running red lights, but how different is it? Gay marriage creates an exception to a current, commonly accepted norm. Today, 11 states allow gay marriage. 78% have not written in a new law to allow it. Miss California isn’t speaking anything that the majority of lawmakers in her state--or the majority of lawmakers in the majority of states--disagree with. President Obama even agrees with her. Yet, the beauty queen is an infringer? Really?

Finally, how did Carrie Prejean “infringe on others’ rights” when gay marriage is not a right? Again, 78% of states don’t allow it. It is not a right. Whether you support it or do not, it still isn’t a right. So how can it be infringed upon? Simple: it can’t be. And Time was either just plain moronic or incredibly biased to make such a ludicrous claim. REALLY.

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UPDATE: A new story just broke in the last 3 hours! A woman claims to have dated Carrie Prejean’s mom! Wow! My nausea meter just exploded on my computer screen!

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The reason I wrote this blog was truly about how this Prejean-thing is being blown out of proportion and how the media is skewing it. However, it seems almost impossible to ignore what happened after writing about it—and two things happened. First, a woman was actually asked a topical question at a beauty pageant. And that is a shocker. The problem is that she was asked a question by a biased person with both an agenda and vendetta. Nevertheless, I say it took moxie to answer the way she did, especially in an industry that has so many people who would be against her. She put herself out there. She stood up for her belief in marriage and her belief in God. It would have been a lot easier for her just to give a “world peace” type of answer, but I commend her for not being a vapid airhead. I think all contestants should be asked real life, intellectual questions. Not that I expect a diatribe on the economics of underdeveloped countries, but let the women be appreciated for their brains as well as their bodies. The fact that Prejean was asked a real question and honestly answered it is enough reason for her to win a crown; she had an actual opinion, was poised and confident enough to state it, and she looks great in a bikini. That should be the trifecta of a modern day patriarchal contest.

However, something else happened: a contestant lied on her application and faced no repercussions. And, despite whether the witch-hunt that caused this information to come out is right or wrong, it’s out. Just like lies have gotten out and taken a myriad of politicians and other celebrities on the ride of their lives. Just think about the number of politicians who have shut up and dropped out of races because people found dirt on them. If you put yourself out there, and someone doesn’t like you, they will find dirt on you. You have to be prepared for that… or have a lot of money to silence people. In the end, the average person really has to practice what he or she preaches. Because Carrie Prejean has been one to speak form a religious perspective, I have to comment on her in that way: she chose to follow God’s example on some things but not others. She thinks gay marriage is wrong because of God’s teaching, but she broke commandment nine and lied. And that hurts her credibility. No one but God is perfect. But Carrie Prejean lied on her application--and several times after that to try to cover it up. Her actions were neither moral nor ethical. Granted, if she had kept her mouth shut like a good, little girl, it may not have come out. But it did. And she should have lost her crown.

Given all that has happened, let’s think about what we taught young girls with all this hoopla. They should still be judged on their beauty. Being pretty—even if you surgically enhance beauty or starve yourself to achieve it—is good. If you speak what is one your mind, it is bad. You could get into a lot of trouble and get a lot of people mad at you. If you are pretty, though, you get away with a lot and things like lying don’t matter. You can shake your butt or implants for an old, rich white guy and you won’t get into any trouble. In fact, he will let you lie to him, break rules, and then commend you for it… so long as you are pretty. That is the moral of the Prejean saga that young women learned. And it is truly unfortunate.

I was a Prejean supporter until the fact that she lied on her application came out. She knowingly lied, and she should have been punished. Is what happened to her fair? Probably not. If she hasn’t answered that incendiary question honestly would this have come out? Probably not. However, other women did not apply for the competition because they had taken semi-nude/nude photos. How is that fair to them? It’s simply not.

I mean, I am sorry that when Prejean appeared on television in her bra and panties she didn’t understand how people could see that as appearing semi-nude. And I am sorry that she was a minor/wasn’t a minor when semi-nude photos were taken of her after she answered that she had never posed for semi-nude photos on her application. (Her rep even said, "It's not a semi-nude pose because she is modeling lingerie." Yeah, Oookay!) And I am sorry that she responded to the first picture by lying, "There are no other photos of me. This was the only one I took..." before multiple other photos surfaced. And I am sorry that the "wind" blew open her vest during a photo shoot and exposed her nipple right when the photographer shot five or six photos... each in a different pose... and each with her hair adjusted differently. But I am really sorry that this young woman had the potential to be a role model, and now she isn’t; she should have stepped-up and stepped-down, taken accountability for her actions, and moved on.

"Swine" Flu... oh, I mean " H1N1" Flu

One more comment on the whole "Swine Flu," which I feel has been blown completely out-of-proportion to the point it should be called "Swine Paranoia." I used to joke that it should be renamed the "Pig Flu." I thought it sounded better. However, after reading about all the pigs that were slaughtered in Egypt, I am no longer laughing.

How stupid are people? I mean really.

In the case of the pigs that were culled in Egypt, one has to look at the motivation for the action. First, the government had been criticized in the past for not handling problems fast enough or thorough enough: case and point the bird flu. It seems like they were just looking to jump--as many people were--to get rid of the problem by getting rid of pigs since it was called "Swine flu." Brilliant. It didn't hurt that the leaders of the nation didn't generate any cash from the pigs, ingest the pigs, or need the pigs for their families' very survival.

Second, one also has to wonder if there were other motivations for the action; for example, perhaps it was also done to take advantage of the impoverished Christians who struggle in the Muslim nation--especially since no cases of swine flu had even been found there at the time of the slaughter. There are mixed feelings on what happened from Muslims, but only one side mentions religion. According to the AP, "Some militants posted online that swine flu was God's revenge against 'infidels.'" Apparently, since the 90% Muslim majority views pigs as "unclean," it didn't seem so bad to do away with them and give an added kick to those pesky 'infidels' in their country.

I do wonder what would have happened if it had been "Chicken Flu" or something that effected the entire population. Would all the chickens have been slaughtered? I am thinking not. At least the Muslim government was nice enough to let the poor farmers sell the meat from the cull... so that the government could justify not compensating the farmers for their loss. How generous, especially given the fact there was no grounds for their action and that they were acting out of fear of criticism and sheer paranoia.

However, on the flip side, the AP also reported that, Abdullah Kamal, a Muslim writer of a pro-government newspaper, criticized the order to slaughter the estimated 300,000 pigs arguing that "Killing (pigs) is not a solution, otherwise, we should kill the people, because the virus spreads through them." Sometimes it seems like only people outside of government have functioning brains.

When you look at what happened to Egypt's 300,000 pigs--and the suffering that has come to the farmers who lost them--there really is one person to blame: the idiot who dubbed this virus "Swine flu." I am serious. Granted, the media spread the fear of this illness faster than a bunny on Viagra reproduces, but the person who thought of the name is truly to blame. I would happily nominate them for the Darwin Award of the Century. I want to know who it was who did it. Seriously. This genius has caused so much suffering by thinking of such a moronic name, and I want to know that there will be repercussions. And, oh yeah, changing its name to "H1N1 Flu" really helps NOW. That's some more genius thinking. I'm sure everyone will start calling it that now...

It was known early on that the "Swine flu" was a mixture of swine, bird, and human flu. And given the fact that it seems nearly impossible that this flu could have been created naturally in the environment, one can also wonder where it really came from. (I am smelling another blog.) Nevertheless, it was also known early that humans didn't this flu from pigs. So, why the name? If it had been called the Mexico Flu, since it originated there, the tourist industry there would have taken forever to rebound. So, who is after the pork industry and why? I mean, with the whole "Swine Flu" fear, who is running out to buy a big ol' ham for Sunday dinner? I am guessing no one, even though you can't get the Swine Flu from ingesting pork. (Case and point the monumental losses the beef industry faced from Mad Cow Disease, which really did come from the aforementioned animal.) Not that I am defending the potbellies in the pork industry or am even concerned about them, especially since they are no more friendly to the pigs than the Egyptians were, but... it makes one wonder, doesn't it?

Maybe the pork industry didn't donate enough to Obama's campaign.


Further Reading:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jVjq5eEi7w7p4zgIjnSIiBIZ7RkQD97TEKMO0
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090501/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_egypt_scapegoating_pigs
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090503/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_egypt_swine_flu
http://ydr.inyork.com/ci_12252751

Infectious Guilt

Well, I am sick. Actually, I am getting over it now. I think I was infected by my cousin when I went to visit for a funeral. Usually I am infected by carrier monkies--oops, I mean "children--when I visit. This time, though, my adult cousin assured me she wasn't sick anymore before hugging me. Uh huh. The worst part is that I got S sick, and I feel awful for that. He took care of me the last 11 days. Then, bam. I thought we were in the clear. Apparently not.

Aside from wishing I could do anything to have him not be sick, I am reflecting on surviving this cold. See, a few years back, I had a horrible sickness that lasted over 3 months. I lost my hearing, had to have my eardrum vacuumed, and basically went slowly insane. I had no control over my body or senses. It was very hard on me. Before that episode, I didn’t care about getting sick. It was just something you got through. Since then, though, I have been panicked about it. This cold was the first time I didn’t freak out. I tolerated it. I was patient. And I had someone who loved me caring for me.

S really did take care of me, too. He even researched remedies online and rubbed essential oil in the soles of my feet to help me stop coughing. I didn't expect that. Maybe I didn't think I was worth it. In a way, it was reminiscent of my mom when I was younger. I can't explain it. It was just like I was safe and loved. And the last time I was sick, my situation was far different. Anyway, I have ended up having to take steroids because my lungs got inflamed and I got the dreaded “seal bark” cough of asthma. I am getting through, though. And S is dealing with the barking.

I just hope he gets over this quickly. I can’t stand to see him suffering. I also feel awful because I infected him. Plus, he is so used to being on his own that he doesn’t let me help him much. He doesn’t ask for help. He doesn’t want to take help. I, on the other hand, whined and he looked after me. I felt so loved. I wish I could return that for him.

I am also worried because I don’t know if I am a great comforter. My main example of comforting comes from my mom. She always seemed to know just what to do to make me feel better. So I try to remember those things to do. It is just hard knowing how much comforting he wants. I also ask a lot of questions, which can be annoying. “Would you like some tea?” “Can I get you some Chloraseptic?” “Do you need anything?” I sound like a broken record. So, I am giving him his space and hoping he lets me know if he needs anything. I don’t want him to think I don’t care, but I don’t want to be a pest. I tread such a fine line.

And I think I am leaning toward pest.

P.S. To everyone who has seen me in public: I don’t have the swine flu. Everyone who has a cough does not have it. You don’t need to run the other direction. (But I can understand why you do… because I usually do when I see you cough.)

Depression

I have struggled with depression pretty much my whole life. I went the anti-depressant route for a while, and, while it works wonders for some, it wasn't for me. I do remember reading the ad for Cymbalta before I started it: Do you feel down? Do you have muscle aches and pains? Do you cry? Do you breathe? I was like, "Yes! Yes! This is me!" And, yes, I naively thought that all my problems would be solved by a little blue pill. The problem is that those symptoms apply to practically every human being on the planet. Yet, without any discussion, my doctor quickly wrote a prescription for it.

The problem came when I realized that this pill isn't going to magically change my life. So, when I tried to get off of it, and had to actually go on another medication in order to do so, I went through my own personal hell-phase: shocks in my head, moodiness, nausea, headaches. It was pretty bad. Of course, when I told the doctor about the symptoms, she had her nurse tell me that "perhaps you should talk to someone because that doesn't happen." Apparently they were under the impression I was making it all up. I love how doctors can write you any number of prescriptions for drugs but then are oblivious to the after-effects of them. Thankfully I went online and discovered that a LOT of people had the same withdrawal symptoms I did. I can't remember where I found it now, but some angel had posted that L-Glutamine could help with the side effects, including the horrific shocks in my head. It works. Within days, thankfully, I was feeling better. (Of course, when I told my doctor this she denied that there was any correlation between the L-Glutamine and the shocks.)

Anyway, since those days years ago, I did actually go to therapy--which I think should be a requirement for anyone on anti-depressants--and have changed my life in many ways. I actually really changed my life. Almost entirely. I think I was the happiest I had been. I accepted myself, faults and all, and I think that is the key. It is like in accepting yourself, you find the power to change yourself. Weird dichotomy.

However, I am having a hard time again. I feel that I am becoming more and more depressed. I can identify certain reasons why, but it is like I am down in a well sometimes and can't crawl out. I try so hard for S to not show how bad it really is. I'm also incredibly exhausted and am working with a new doctor to try to find out why. There are a lot of things going on. I think the crux of it, though, is that I am back at a point where I don't like myself again. In retrospect, the key to everything was acceptance, and I have lost that. I'm just not sure how to find it again.

I guess it comes down to something my therapist once said, and I will paraphrase: "I can sit and look at someone laying in a bed and tell him or her all the reasons in the world to get up. In the end, though, he or she is the only one who can take the action."

I think I need some action. Perhaps not of the Bruce Willis yippie-kai-yay variety, but I need start somewhere. Maybe I should go rent Driving Miss Daisy or something and start slow.

Yeah...

Just to follow-up... The whole "New Year's Resolutions" thing... it lasted under 24 hours. C'est la vie!

New Year's Resolutions... a little late

Since it is my dad's birthday, I am re-evaluating my life--which I usually do on people's birthdays. I've decided to follow the theory of "You can't love someone else until you love yourself," and I have set out some new goals, or late New Year's Resolutions, to help me start to accomplish this task.

1. Take time for myself--at least 5 minutes every day. Whether it is just enjoying a cup of coffee, taking a mental break, or writing a blog, I need a few minutes to devote to me.

2. I want to make a list of one thing I like about myself each day, and I would like to write a journal entry of something I want to improve upon or something I have noticed about myself.

3. I would like to get involved in writing fiction again.

4. Focus on a regular exercise schedule again. I have been sort of on one, but I have had a foot injury and really need to suck it up and get over being a wimp about it.

5. I need to stop taking everything personally and being overly sensitive. This is a tough one. And #6 goes with it.

6. I need to know that my opinions are worthy, and I need to speak up when I am upset about something rather than kitchen sink it.

7. I need to figure out how the hell to accomplish #5 and #6.

8. I want to look into a volunteer opportunity; I need to give something back to humanity... as Miss America and cheesy as that sounds.

9. I want something S and I can look forward to each month. Something to mark on the calendar.

10. I also want to plan something, at least once a month, with my mom and dad, separately.

11. I want to take the pups for a walk or do something special with them once a week.

12. I want to read, at least 30 minutes a day, from a book, whether it be fiction, self-improvement, or historical.

13. I want to find a hobby, like organizing my photos.

14. I want to go through the junk mail and try to keep the house up more.

15. I would like to keep a book of quotes that I like.

16. I want to face reality, regain some confidence, and like who I am.

So, there they are. If they follow normal resolutions, I should have messed them up in a couple days, a week tops. Hopefully, since they are March resolutions, they will last longer.

I know they sound corny, but, you know, we all need a little corn in our lives.

Wish Lists

You know how Amazon has a Wish List? Don't you wish people did, too. Seriously. You create a Wish List of all the things you want people to know, but you can't tell them. Or you just create a list in general.

For example, "Wish List of My Future." I want kids by 25, a house in Connecticut, the house must have 3 bedrooms. I want a husband how knows how to unicycle and a white dog with black spots named Barney. There. Those are the key things. If your goals do not meet mine, you need not apply.

This list could also spawn other lists. Just think of it: Things I Wish My Boss Knew, Things that Turn Me On, Things I Wish You Would Do for Me, Things I Actually Want for Christmas. (Well, for some people that last one already exists.)

Then there are the negative lists: Why I Do Not Like Your Family, What Not to Do After Sex, Things You Do That Aggravate Me. Oh, the possibilities.

And the best part? There would be an online index of the lists in a little computer that people could just plug into our USB port on our wrist or something. (We can't risk taping such valuable information to our clothes; it could get lost. It could also lead to embarrassment, "Hey, I, uh, found this list on the ground. Is it yours? Do you like playing Mortal Kombat as part of foreplay?" No, that would not be a good thing.

It would have to be a computer. A mini computer with a list of all our lists. No dialogue. No secrets. Just pure, unbridled bluntness. You just plug in, and it's all right there. Who each of us is. All of it. Right there. In our wrist. Or somewhere.

*inhales*